TEAMS
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Federal Kill
2
Playing since: 10/2008
Height: 5'7"
Fun Fact: I am fast. To give you a reference point, I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.
Blurb: I love the fact that I get to physically assault people without getting arrested for it. The derby chicks of CCRG are pretty freaking rad as well.
Likes: Skating fast, horror movies, speed metal and kittens.
Dislikes: Rink rash, bad drivers, dirty ears and the letter "Q".
Bio:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.
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